Girls Girls Girls

Girls, girls, girls, and did I mention girls? I am not exactly sure of how fixated most normal 8-10 year old boys are on girls but I think I was ahead of the class. I didn't have many girlfriends of course, zero to be exact. This, because I was NOT ahead of the class at being able to compose thoughts or sentences around the human female species. I recall having a little girl-like crush on a girl who was a grade above me. And the graceful lords of Kobol allowed me to gain the knowledge of what classroom she was in without creepy, childhood stalking methods. Everyday my class would move from one classroom to another allowing me to pass by her classroom, which advantageously, always had its door wide open. Every time I passed the open doorway I would do this ridiculous attempt at being suave, or sexy, or who-the-hell-knows-what, because I was 8 years old! What I did was, I would slightly bite my lower lip on the side, causing it to bend inward and show the teeth doing the biting and I would do this while keeping a stern gaze straight ahead, never looking in the doorway. I think I saw sexy people on my mother's soap operas doing this when they were trying to convey to another person that they were attracted to them. The problem was, THEY WERE ALWAYS FUCKING WOMEN DOING THE SEXY LIP BITING MANEUVER!!!! My tiny, child mind did not recognize that very important fact. If it is any consolation, and I know it is not (I just wish it were), at least that same child mind could calculate the statistical chances that the lip biting had against its prey at achieving its goal on those soap operas: 100% success rate! My success rate however: 0%